phoenix.

I sought the Lord,

Do you know what it is to seek the Lord? I think I am ... just beginning to realize how much I don't seek Him. How much I need to seek Him. Every day. Every moment. I mean, you know you have a problem when you call your insurance company before you talk to the One who created you, right? After all, He's only the God of heaven and earth. Yeah. Him.

Why He would bother with little ol' me, I don't know, but God in His mercy has demonstrated His love toward me time and again. Especially when I do not deserve it. His love is like the ocean's tide - vast, deep, dependable, eternal.

I thought I knew what it meant to seek Him before, but I clearly had no clue. It's a conscious choice. That's for sure. But beyond that - it's Love. Seeking the Lord communicates to Him that you know He's got your best in mind. That you're living this belief out loud.

For those who sporadically read this blog, you might recall what I wrote on January 25. Maybe you're looking it up now:

"God doesn't give you what you think you need or what you desire... He gives you what you need when you need it... His time frame."

I wish I could have remembered this today, sitting in my car in the middle of a busy parking lot, wracking my brain to discover the reason why my car's engine would not turn over. Despite my best efforts to keep Phoenix charged, that dashboard light blazed the unhappy truth into disbelieving eyes: my car was dead.

My eyes brimmed with tears faster than my caution blinkers could issue warning to impatient drivers who pulled up behind me. But my car would not move.


And the Lord answered me;

There's nothing more devastating than that feeling of utter helplessness that follows in the wake of something that you cannot avoid. As soon as I felt my car lurch and sputter, however, I figured freaking out a little bit would help. Or maybe calling a few people.

Totally the wrong idea, as it had the effect of getting me worked up even further than I was before. I would say, in retrospect, that it is generally a bad idea to talk with anyone when upset. I will avoid doing so in the future.

I figured my car would be okay at first. Weird things happen with my car on a regular basis. Perhaps it would start up again, without issue. But at this point, the inevitable hit me like a ton of bricks: I would be without transportation of my own for a little while. I was glad to be in a parking lot and not on the side of a freeway.

He delivered me from all my fears.

You might ask yourself, "Self, why did Dominique put a semi-colon at the end of the last bold phrase?" Okay, I'll be realistic. Maybe you thought nothing of it. There is a method to my madness -- and it is not because I forgot to edit.

On the contrary, it was a pre-meditated typo.

I would like to point out that seeking the Lord does not reap what YOU want when YOU want it. Rather, seeking the Lord provides you with the best answer. God's answer.

Once I realized that His answer was the best, my fears were eradicated. I realized He would provide for me, despite the odds. Truly, my God is great. And GOOD. And merciful.

Do you know Him? If not, I hope you seek Him while He may still be found.

- Psalm 34:4