simply love.

Tonight a group of friends and I discussed the amazing fact that as believers in Christ, we are children of God -- bought with a price we could never pay and chosen to fall more deeply in love with our Creator. Pretty awesome.

I'll have more on this at a later time.

As I left our small gathering, one thought ran through my mind: The things we often take for granted are the very things we should value more, not less. Simply love.

You know...the unconditional kind? It is easier for me to imagine one million dollars in cold, hard cash. But of course I've never seen that -- and I experience God's love on a daily basis. How consistent is that? Not so much.

I went through a phase when all I wanted to listen to was harsh metal and drums (not sure why?), screamo, and wailing guitars. If you know me now, you're probably laughing incredulously. I'm a bit removed from that genre...just a bit.

However, as my musical tastes branched out and away from this scene to another, I found a song that remains a favorite today: Pillar's Simply Love. I figured I would give credit where it was due before I write the lyrics out...

I've made it so hard on myself
Turning my back on how you felt
Seeing a lie that led me on
Leaving a Love that did no wrong
That's what it took for me to say

That You simply love
Despite all the stupid things I've done
It's hard to remember that You simply love
Even though I know not what I've done
It's hard to remember that You simply love

I've tried to do all this on my own
Not thinking once of what You've shown
All that I've done has blinded me
To everything that You have for me
I want You to know that I finally see

The lyricist goes on to question why it's so hard to comprehend, when it should be so simple. I love what Jerry Bridges says in The Gospel for Real Life, "So here we sit on death row, condemned as rebels, awaiting our execution. But instead of the death we deserve, we are made sons and daughters of the very King we have rebelled against. Instead of death, we get eternal life. Instead of wrath, we receive favor. Instead of eternal ruin, we are made heirs of God and coheirs with Christ."

We cannot accomplish one good deed that would earn the King's favor, nor could we make restitution for our sins in any way. Jesus paid it all. In full. One time. For all have sinned and fallen short. But God in His mercy while we were still steeped in sin, sent His perfect Son as a ransom. How great the Father's love.

BSF

Sometimes, well, all the time actually...I read something that is pretty much a sucker punch to my spiritual life. Today has been a conviction yet again to examine my heart in the light of Scripture -- I always find myself lacking. Funny thing. And He is always sufficient. Surprised? Yeah, me either.

God has been really pushing hard on this total reliance on Him lately -- and I will admit. I haven't been. I'm too eager to go and talk to someone else first, hopeful that they'll provide the answer I need (usually, the answer I think I need, which is rather self-serving!).

But I have been reminded again that nothing a) takes my heavenly father by surprise or b) is too large or small for Him in His all-sufficient grace to handle. My finite mind will most likely never understand the conundrum of grace or unconditional love, which far surpasses all my fears.

Now my heart is overwhelmed / by al-sufficient grace / for I have seen my weaknesses / become Your perfect strength -- You rescued me / from all my fears / and loosed the chains / of wasted years.

Why is it that I can sing this song with such conviction - but when it comes to living it out loud, I come up near empty??? Seriously. When does my belief show? When does Jesus truly become my Savior, Restorer, Rebuilder, Rewarder, my Refuge, Redeemer, Defender, or Healer?

When I surrender all.

"Do you believe & depend on your Lord so that He alone is sufficient for you in your present circumstances & need?"

Sometimes, my BSF notes are like a 2-by-4 to my drowsy perspective. My apathetic belief. My inept acceptance that my God - who by the way created the very mind I think with - is sufficient, above all. And that He could possibly accomplish more than I'd ever dare to ask Him for (mostly because I wouldn't know that I'm steeped in sin without His grace in the first place).

All I know is this - though I may experience times of trial and doubt in this life, God has a plan beyond my wildest imagination and I am confident as Paul wrote (Philippians 1:6)...

"He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."

Until then, my friends, blessed assurance - Jesus is mine! And can be yours too. Yes, I believe in an all-sufficient Savior.

Expectations.

There are several things you can expect in this life- but the biggest by far and most constant, is disappointment. I don't need experience for this one. Observation alone speaks to it. Praising God for the hope He gives that can never disappoint. In this life or next. Amen.

forgiving.

Have you ever been hurt by someone who truly believes in their heart that they are doing well? This has occurred recently and... I wasn't quite sure how to take it at first. I mean, I'm definitely not a fan. Not good insofar as communicating my hurts go either, at times. And not quite into the whole counterattack method. Seems juvenile and judgmental, in a punitive sense. I'm not a person who strikes back. In the past, yes. But I've recognized that it's not effective for building relationships... I actually usually prefer to simper and go on the defensive, hide my hurt away and never address it.

Smile and internalize?

Problem with this method: the hurt is still there and it festers beneath the surface. I'm not really a fan of this either. Lesser of the two evils is the hurt. The hiding it away part stings worse over time and gets me down.

Not sure if there is another way than to forgive and let go.

Thus, this post. I'm letting God deal with this one. And I'm letting go the ropes.

armor.

Don't let my tough, no-nonsense demeanor fool you.
Should you ever be okay with "I'm doing well"?
Don't let me get away without tears.
Try to get at what's within.
But please be gentle.
I bruise easily.

four hours.

Before the plane that holds my sweet best friend and my dear boyfriend lands! To God be glory :) I know He's continuing to do great things in the hearts and lives of those left behind in South Africa as the team continues to fly west and home.

This week has been crazy busy and full of visiting with friends (love you, Hope!), family, work, and a bit of stress to complicate matters with the latter. But nothing that couldn't be handled through prayer, reliance on God's mercy, and much rest / coffee. I think I ingested enough caffeine to last me all month. And now, with four hours to go, I feel like a kid on Christmas Eve. Is this silly? I hope not. Excited!

henry wadsworth longfellow.

The nearer the dawn
the darker the night.

south africa. a love note.

My boyfriend is on a mission trip with our church. They are in South Africa for the better part of two weeks and I miss him.

In all honesty, I started today feeling a little sorry for myself... I mean it's hard not to miss someone who's in another country and virtually inaccessible. Especially if it's someone with whom you are able to communicate at any time all day long, if you so choose. I find it all too easy to be bummed because of a lack of communication.

But it's all a matter of perspective, isn't it?

The great thing about Ryan's mission trip to South Africa is that he is in constant contact with the One who called him there. The One who brought us together. The One who sustains life and offers His forgiveness and grace anew each day. The God of the Bible; the One who sent His Son to die for the sins of the world for all time.

So there I sat in front of my screen this afternoon, my attitude newly checked. I began to think about the people Ryan will encounter over the next two weeks. My heart ached.

Imagine ...

One day in the future, God will return and take His people home. For those He calls, it's going to be a day of rejoicing -- for those who have not repented and turned to Him, however, it will be a different day indeed. Total separation from God. Cut off from communication with Him completely. No one on earth has ever experienced this.

And the Bible says there will be a gnashing teeth. To 'gnash' is to grind or strike together by force. Have you ever heard this sound? Ugh. My dog grinds his teeth together whenever fearful or distrustful, and at times when he is angry and cannot find justice. It's not a pleasant thing to watch and it's even more painful to listen to.

I would never wish this type of desperate fear and complete separation from Truth on anyone. Especially on those who have never heard the Good News of a loving Savior and Redeemer, Who alone can rescue.

Who, Oh Lord, could save themselves, their own soul could heal?
Our shame was deeper than the sea; Your grace is deeper still.

You, Oh Lord, have made a way; the great divide You heal
For when our hearts were far away, Your love went further still

You alone can rescue, you alone can save
You alone can lift us from the grave
You came down to find us, led us out of death
To You alone belong the highest praise.

We lift up our eyes, lift up our eyes -- You're the Giver of Life!

(Matt Redman)

We who have the Truth and the Life ... should we not share Him with a world in need? Let us be His hands and feet, rather than bench-warmers, and rise up while there is still time.

Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying,
"Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?"
And I said, "Here am I. Send me!"
- Isaiah 6:8

Please pray with me for the team in South Africa, as well as for those lives they will inevitably touch while there. Love to you all.

la nina.

Sun-fed sunflowers.

This year, La Nina definitely shook things up in the northwest. We had an extended spring season followed by splotches of cool sunshine, downpours, clouds. I mean, above and beyond what is normal. Contrary to popular belief, summer and fall are actually gorgeous here in Washington!

Blueberries!

Whatever the case may be ... La Nina, I shall be glad of your departure. We had a record eighteen minutes of 80+ degree (Fahrenheit) weather, all the way through August.

Now that it's September, however... Summer weather is finally, defiantly here. I feel bad for the kids who have started school already.

Spar with tomato plants and squash vines.

We have this awesome thing called blue skies right now. Quite the phenomenon. Makes people tired and irritable. They complain about headaches and dehydration. They go outside without proper sun-protection and fry.

Looking forward to snacking on these late-fall grapes.

Imagine the lovely salads... yellow pear tomatoes.

I am currently in a skirt, slippers, and a long-sleeve shirt. Comfortable.

You thought I was kidding, didn't you?
I am SO fashion-conscious ;)

I have been freezing ever since returning to Washington. I wear sweaters at work because the air conditioning is too darned cold!

California, you have done me a disservice. I mean, I had a nice tan but now it's fading.

Colorful carrots were scrumptious!

But boy did this weather create the perfect mix for a garden! Sunflowers are towering over seven feet tall, the poll beans keep producing, sweet peas by the bushel (which magically never reached the inside of the house?), strawberries, cucumbers, more than enough tomatoes to share with several families, and a bumper crop of both raspberries and blueberries. Rhubarb was a success ... the grapes will soon ripen ... squash on the vine ... and we're holding out with the recent turn of the weather for a nice amount of figs, too. The non-native Himalayan blackberries have been great this year too ... thankfully we haven't found any in the yard!

Blackberry heaven. Be careful of prickers, however.
Scratches from those itch for at least a week!

Quite a summer for garden-fresh produce!

Perhaps La Nina isn't so bad after all...

since may...

Hi everyone!

So...

This is the longest overdue post in the history of EVER. Well, for me anyway.

I was trying to come up with an excuse, but words fail me.

I am back home in Seattle, which should not come as new information to any of those who follow my clearly sporadic blog. I have been home since the end of May. Four jam-packed months of crazy adventure after crazy adventure. With a few huge events thrown in between for good measure.

As a little update of sorts, I will include a smallish outline of late spring / summer events that have occurred since May...

1. Boyfriend flew to Cali to help me pack; I met him at the Fly Away with all my stuff JAMMED into my tiny car.

Packing with Kayla Joy. More like ... AHHHHHH! Where did all this stuff come from??

Last of the large items and I should have put it in first...
my car was packed so tight!

On the way up the coast from Cali...
We stopped for coffee at a Denny's around 2am or so.

2. Returned home, with almost all my stuff. Fun fact: I can now FILL an entire two-room apartment with everything I own. No joke. And I would actually be comfortable. I am not presently comfortable. Got a small rental storage space for said stuff.

3. Had a birthday party, courtesy of my bestest friends :) I love you, Ry and Britt. They're wonderful, selfless people. Another fun fact: I SUCK at thank you notes. After high school, I just apparently lost that skill. If I ever truly had it.

Taking a break from being wonderfully domestic
to pose for this shot with me. Love you, boo.

The marvelous host and hostess at the after party.
Combine too much sugar and bubble tea... fond memories!

4. Finally got to spend some quality time with friends from home... you know who you are. And you're all amazing!!!

Briggs' beach house!

Egroup + Newly-weds + Dev + S'mores

5. Helped my mother with wedding decor / etc., as well as organizing things for my sister's wedding. It was a crazy time. Wedding: June 17! There wasn't much time. Celebrated the wedding of the year with my sister.

Helping Mom with decorations.

Pinwheels.

This was so fun!

Fun tie-shopping with Allen for the groomsmen.

Bachelorette party! Italian candies at Pike Place Market.

Presents for the newly-weds. Wow!

6. BANGS!

I have never been happier with a haircut.

7. Went to several other lovely weddings between now and then with my handsome boyfriend. We also celebrated one year together at the beginning of July. Pretty much awesome :)

Roses <3

8. Missed Valencia. How in the world I managed that, I'm not sure. I vowed that would never be the case. And I definitely miss my students. Can I just say... I loved teaching that crazy bunch, no matter how much grief they gave me about assignments.

Two class periods... My seniors. They've since graduated!

The boys in Period 4.

My girls brought me balloons for an early birthday surprise.

Barb, my favorite customer from my old store in Valencia.

She brought me flowers to say 'good luck at home' and 'happy birthday' all at the same time... miss her much as well.

My store buddies, out to breakfast at Egg Plantation the day before I left ... Kenny, Kim, Bryan.

Des and I on our last late-night sushi date.

9. I'm feeling like this list is a little longer than I promised.

So for your viewing pleasure...
I have included this picture of my guy.
Makes me laugh every time I see it! :)

10. Ocean Shores with Ryan! Best minivacay since Carpenteria with my sister this spring.

Driving around Ocean Shores on mopeds... a blast!

Toes in warm sand? Perfect. Sign me up!

11. Enjoyed being home. Baked cookies, took naps in the sun, watched the rain fall (do you know how much I missed the rain?!), and did all kinds of PNW activities. Hikes. Rock climbing. Biking. Swimming in the Pacific Ocean. Mopeds. Chicken chasing.

Out to eat at Cactus with my parents... they missed me.

Baby chicks, in their cute stage.
They are now eating squawking machines
that hate to be held...

My sweet friends, Renee and Brittany, and I.

Early season hike with some fab kids.

Walking Maluku with Kayla, Allen, Mom at a local park.

Berry-picking.

12. Went to the doc to update my asthma and migraine meds. Not that this is the greatest, but life is drastically improved when you can actually get through a day without a migraine or allergic reaction.

13. Live at a Starbucks nearby. Well, actually I work there but you know. Small details. I sometimes overlook those ;)

This is me on a day off ;)

14. Finished my quilt!!!! This is a huge accomplishment. I kid you not. I have only been working on the thing for two years now. Between school and being in California for a year and work, however, something had to give. This was one. Very happy with the final product.

Tackling the hand-sewing portion.

I think that's enough of an update for now.

Actually, I may have bored you to tears. I may get into it more and add pictures as I go along... it's a tedious process and it's kind of late now :)

up in the air.

Just a short list of things I'm personally struggling with and praying about lately...

1. Where to go to graduate school and how to find the right program?
2. Should I apply for a teaching position now?
3. Opportunity to become a shift lead at work has opened up.
4. Figuring out my five-year plans...whee.
5. Feeling like I'm running around in circles with the above.

Good thing God knows the end from the beginning -- because everything feels very up in the air right now. If you think of me, please pray for these things. Thank you!

self-awareness...

I am afraid to go tackle deeper subjects with people. It takes others to really pull that out of me. I probably come across like this: "I don't care; don't bother me with your problems. In fact, I hate any physical interaction. Please, don't touch me." And really, it's the exact opposite.

How in the world do I change this??

CHANGES

My new site ... been in the works for a while ...

http://pensareblog.com/

Thank you all for subscribing and following me!

I will still be updating here, however, since I am more familiar with the layout and have a set design to work from. As I get more comfortable, I'll progress and most likely do away with this site. But we'll see!

Love to you all.

as par usual.

Hey guys.

Like usual, when I've too much to do and not enough time, I resort to FREAKING out and writing a whole bunch of nothing. Sorry!

Love you all.

"Shaksperian Sonnet"

Contributing party: one of my ninth graders. This was written by hand. From before I started teaching this class as a student teacher. Found it today; it must have been fallen off the desk and got lodged in between the desk and wall. I couldn't resist sharing it with you all. It pretty much made my day.

"You art the most beautiful thing
that eyes could see.

Your eyes art like the nice blue sky,
Your hair is like an autumn tree,
You look as if you can fly.

"Your face is that of a goddess.
I do not deserve your niceness.
I should have gotten less,
You releave me of my stress.

"You art never repetative in any way,
You make me so happy,
Every time I see you
I need to lay
You make my legs flappy.

"You art so beautiful,
you make my heart full."

NINE.

Hello ...

I realize it's been quite some time since my last post. And I really cannot take more time to finish this one before I shoot off to class this morning ... but ...

There are only nine days between you and me, Washington.

I'm coming home soon.

(p.s. I have a few blogs between May 1 and now, just have not "published" them to this site ... eventually, I will have time)

Love, Dominique

on this day.

A little history lesson.

1 May 1945

Germany announced Hilter dead.

See the full story on the BBC News page.

- - -

Today.

1 May 2011

The world learned of Osama bin Ladin's death.

See the full story on the ABC News page.

Just saying ... I think the FBI needs to update their Ten Most Wanted page.

- - -

Do not rejoice in the falling of an enemy, do not rejoice in his death.

Proverbs 24:17 -- read it in context here for more information.

It is for the Lord to avenge, to judge, to vindicate.

I'll let Him do His job.

quote to process.

Upon turning 30 years old, a man took up his camera and began snapping pictures -- one for each day of his life.

Watch his short film and browse through pictures at this site: http://number27.org/today.php

What resonated with me:

"In order to make sense of your experience
... you really need privacy. You need space,
in order to contemplate and grow."

When I really have a moment to pause and reflect, that is when I have my most groundbreaking moments.

In the next two weeks, I am hoping that I will be able to enjoy those moments I have that enable me to truly reflect on my experiences here and how they will impact my future.

This is a hectic, stressful time for students ...

I need to remember this for myself, too, and set aside time to critically evaluate my movements during the week in order to correct them for better use in teaching and life, in general. I will use the mistakes I made to inform future endeavors.

Although it might appear a "duh" statement at best, I enjoyed this quote as a piece of advice.

Taking time away from the haphazard quality of life and stress that is attached is beneficial not only for me but also for those I interact with on a daily basis.

truth.

Semesters are much too long.

Sanity levels plummeting quickly.

But then again ...

The semester is over in three weeks.

Yessir, home before June.

I can't express how much I love semesters.

on three hours.

On three hours of sleep ...

(1) - I have completely caught up my binder for the work required of me by Monday. Okay, with a few things yet to accomplish tomorrow afternoon. C'est la vie. This is actually a good thing.

(2) - Completed a successful close at my store. Went down without a hitch, far as we could tell.

(3) - Taught several classes, graded at least four assignments (each class = 30 students, on average).

(4) - Written up the twenty-six lesson plans (I have two vastly different types of classes to teach each school day) remaining in this semester.

(5) - Begun my final Teacher Performance assessment.

(6) - Put the finishing touches on my Unit.

... I don't recommend or condone the decision to get three hours of sleep last night in this post. The resulting insanity and negative attitude alone should be repulsive enough for my readership to not follow in my footsteps. As if you do! ;)

Thank you all for your encouragement at this time!

Love, Dominique

hold up.

You mean, I should have been writing my papers rather than updating my blog?

Aw, man! I knew I read that wrong.

- - -

All I have to say for myself is ...

sayonara

( ... for now.)

- - -

Love to you all,
- Dominique

p.s. I am kidding. I just have quite a bit of grading to accomplish and papers due, and such little time ... Soon this madness will be over.

determination.

There are some who lead by example.
There are some who teach.
And there are yet others who accomplish both with excellence.

With God's grace, I hope to fall into the final category.

NEW life.

good friday.

Yes. He did die.

Why is it good?
Shall I list the reasons?

- He is God.
- The grave could not hold Him down.
- Through Him, we are given hope of life eternal.

Amen. Blessed day.

- - -

Oh, to see my name
Written in the wounds,
For through Your suffering, I am free.
Death is crushed to death;
Life is mine to live,
Won through Your selfless Love.

- - -

no hope.

The point is not that He died, though this was an integral part of His plan.
No, every man dies.
Jesus was fully man and fully God.

The point is rather, that He lives again.

Do you not see?
Have you not heard?

Without His death and resurrection from death unto life --

There is NO HOPE for me.
There is NO HOPE for you.

- - -
Now the daylight flees;
Now the ground beneath
Quakes as its Maker bows His head.
Curtain torn in two,
Dead are raised to life --
"FINISHED" the vict'ry cry!
- - -

the most pivotal thing.

So, you know the story inside and out?
I know To Kill a Mockingbird inside and out. Does that count for anything?

It's just a "nice story" but without backing?
First, it's definitely not "nice" -- a brutal beating and death on a cross = never nice.

Here's the thing ...

Without the resurrection of Christ from the dead, my relationship and my faith falls flat.

How could the death of a mere man save you and give eternal life?

What if that man were GOD?

If God could not raise Himself from death, would you follow Him?

Yeah, no. Didn't think so.

Even if you didn't have any knowledge of Scripture, you could understand the ramifications of if He did not rise.

For those of you who are reading with contempt ...

-- "Why Easter? Doesn't she know that this is a pagan holiday?
She should have called it Resurrection Sunday!" --

... may I remind you that Christ uses the foolishness of this world to bring glory to Himself? Nothing is beyond His reach.

It's not the name you use to describe the event. It's what you are focused on that makes the difference to a watching world.

- - -
Soar we now where Christ has lead -- Allelujah!
Following our exalted head -- Allelujah!
Made like Him, like Him we rise -- Allelujah!
Ours the cross, the grave, the skies -- Allelujah!
- - -

NEW life.

Believe on the Lord Jesus and you will be saved. (Romans 10:8-10)

Simple, beautiful, unique, powerful, DONE.
Nothing that you could come up with on your own would be good enough.

- - -
I hear the Savior say,
"Thy strength indeed is small;
Child of weakness, watch and pray,
Find in me thy all in all."

Jesus paid it all.
All to Him I owe.
Sin had left a crimson stain.
He washed it white as snow.

For nothing good have I,
Whereby Thy grace to claim,
I'll wash my garments white
In the blood of Calv'ry's Lamb.
- - -

your choice.

Whether you believe or not is your choice. He has already paid it all -- in full.

You have only to accept or reject His gift.

april shower.

Kayla's California bridal shower
went off without a hitch on April 10
-- except --
everyone was either sick or had other plans!

Despite this small disappointment,
everything worked out great.

- - -

Hope, Kayla, Anna, and I enjoyed
the following fun and good eats:

1.) What party is complete without complimentary
coffee and tea, sugar, and Styrofoam cups?

2.) Hopey (eating and) cutting some
sweet summer strawberries:

3.) A little announcement on the board about
Kayla's bridal shower ...

4.) A beach-theme table decked out with goodies:

Easy party table decoration ideas:
a plain linen table cloth, color / pattern squares from
scrap-booking supplies found in JoAnn's,
shells found at a local beach, lights, an old bird cage,
glass vases, a flower or two, family photos.

- - -
I designed a rose pattern out of delicious
chocolate cookies ... go to Costco if you need a fix ;)

- - -

5.) Pictures on a clothesline, just for fun!

This is a cute way to display an eclectic bunch of photos
and any sweet notes that may or may not have been
attached to delivery flowers over the years ...

6.) Cute little gift table, complete with tiny party favors!
Wish I had been able to give more of them out ...

If you are looking for economical party favors,
try including little seed packets, teas, candies,
fun hair accessories, and pens ...

- - -
Other photos, as follows, are from after set-up:
- - -

We played a few little games

-- this one: a blind drawing of Kayla in her dress --
Anna won :)

Find other party ideas here.

Gifts from loving friends :)

A present from home : Piggy Pop!
Washington bridal shower theme was
"southern belle."

All said and told, all four of us enjoyed
an fun party full of laughter and smiles, a little
celebration between friends and roommates.