it should be laissez-faire

I have, for the majority of this political season, sat quietly and listened. And I have seen the writing on the wall -- what this election season has the potential to do to the structure of the United States.

I have seen friends take their stand on issues close to home, to decry the current government situation and those who would stand to back it. Here is where I will do the same. I will do so because in this politically-charged environment, unless I have my say, I will be counted among those who NEVER DID.

I once heard a set of lyrics that resonated with me: "Stand for truth, stand for life, stand for somethin, don't fall for nothin."

Truth is in God's Word.

It never was about party lines. It was about convictions and the Truth. Here we are again faced with an election that does not concern the color of your vote -- red or blue -- but rather the beliefs driving it. As with every election, this vote counts.

You may say that the sacred and secular cannot or should not mix. That church and state can't tango in the public arena. Really? You honestly believe that politicians don't mix their convictions with reality? Do you actively check your mind at the door every day or just sometimes? Because that's what your expectation is. And this is the result (see enclosed link).

Nothing you touch remains neutral. Your convictions spill into everything you do, think, and say.

Some of us think the government owes us. The same government that can't make ends meet? Yeah, that one. I don't want that kind of "help" -- it comes with a certain amount of dependency and entrapment. Or enslavement, whichever you prefer.

Heck, if I wanted to be dependent on government, I wouldn't work. I would "sign up" just like this die-hard Cleveland woman did. Free cell phones since 2008! Just vote for Obama and you'll get yours, too. Honestly I don't think I could do it. If I didn't work, I couldn't pay my own bills, keep food on the table, own a car or cell phone, couldn't have a house much less afford rent for an apartment -- it certainly wouldn't be my prerogative to ask for more when I'm given enough to live on.

Look, before you go blasting me for judging people who are not able to provide for themselves, understand that I was in such a position in life not long ago. My parents lived paycheck to paycheck when I was an infant. When I was two years old, my father died in a freak accident at work. We had next to nothing for years, but we were content. Mom pinched pennies. I know what it feels like to be poor. That's the brief overview.

There are people who need mercy and help, from the church or concerned friends and family or from government programs specifically designed to helping them get back on their feet. Unfortunately, in a fallen world, ugly things happen to people. Thankful to a God who never let our plates go empty or the roof over our heads fall in.

My question, however, remains: When it's used for something other than what it's meant for, then why was it given in the first place? Where is the limit?

There are some people who take and abuse government handouts. If the government will do menial things such as provide food and shelter, why not also have them pay my way to DirectTV, food stamps for use at Starbucks (yes, they do try), vacations to Disneyland, or splurge for a little Dolce&Gabbana to spice up my wardrobe. Why not fund my promiscuous behavior by providing free birth control.

Again, where is the limit?

The entitlement mentality is a problem. I'm sorry, but whenever is it a good thing for government to get involved in the people's choice? Are we still children that the government should swoop down and hold our hands? No thanks. It should be laissez-faire, as it has been from early on. This is the type of government involvement that is lax when it comes to meddling in my personal affairs.

The last time I checked, the best place to get government-supplied-everything is jail. Does that tell you anything? It's still at the expense of tax payers (of which I most certainly am), because someone has to pay for it. Nothing is entirely free, after all.

Right now, I'm feeling pretty encroached upon by our all-invasive government. A welfare state that seems to disperse hope as fast as it tries to instill it. I don't want a government that will pay my bills. I want a government that will appropriately represent me. I don't want a president who sinks his efforts into superficial issues such as political correctness and tolerance. I want a president who will rally behind Israel in its attempts to survive. Yet here I am again disappointed.

Let's get some perspective.

"Now we command you, brethren, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you keep away from every brother who leads an unruly life and not according to the tradition which you received from us. For you ought to follow our example, because we did not act in an undisciplined manner among you, nor did we eat anyone's bread without paying for it, but with labor and hardship we kept working night and day so that we would not be a burden to any of you; not because we do not have the right to this, but in order to offer ourselves as a model for you, so that you would follow our example. For even when we were with you, we used to give you this order: if anyone is not willing to work, then he is not to eat, either. For we hear that some among you are leading an undisciplined life, doing no work at all, but acting like busybodies. Now such persons we command and exhort in the Lord Jesus Christ to work in quiet fashion and eat their own bread. But as for you, brethren, do not grow weary of doing good." -- 2 Thessalonians 3:6-13

My prayer is that you will stand for somethin this election season.

a mess.

The following popular tendencies are just a few things that have been on my heart and in my mind lately. I just want to share with you what I've been seeing and hearing and thinking about and praying through in the past few months within the church body. As my fiance gently reminded me, mere talk solves nothing. The Lord is the One Who moves the people to action.

- 1 - Adopting attitudes that are negative toward one another or perpetuating gossip.

"Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you." --Philippians 4:8-9

"He who goes about as a slanderer reveals secrets, therefore do not associate with a gossip." --Proverbs 20:19

"He who guards his mouth and his tongue guards his soul from troubles." --Proverbs 21:23

"Lord, you have searched me and you know me..." --Read Psalm 139

When people get together in any form or fashion, the outcome can be summed up by one word: MESSY. It's rough, it's awkward, and most times feelings get hurt. But if you find you're the one doing damage often, then examine what's going on at your end.

It is much easier to hold your tongue and be humble, meeting the person where they are without judgment, than it is to win back that person's trust. This may be common sense to some people. I remember when it suddenly dawned on me that I had mortally wounded a friendship and there was no going back. Apologies were said but the damage was done, and I was sole beneficiary of my actions.

Gossip is just as ugly. I've got the stories to prove it but a gossip betrays a confidence. The Word of the Lord is full of reasons why gossip and lies and distorted truth are intrinsically linked, what to expect from an unbridled tongue, and much more.

On the other hand, holding onto hurt feelings and negativity only serves to create bitterness and anxiety. Read up on Psalm 139! I highly recommend memorizing it. You ARE fearfully and wonderfully made by a Creator who cherishes you completely.

- 2 - Feelings of entitlement and "rights."

"For through the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think more highly of himself than he ought to think; but to think so as to have sound judgment, as God has allotted to each a measure of faith. For just as we have many members in one body and all the members do not have the same function, so we, who are many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another." --Romans 12:3-5

"Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. Give no offense either to Jews or Greeks or to the church of God; just as I also please all men in all things, not seeking my own profit but the profit of the many, so that they may be saved." --1 Corinthians 10:31-33

"But God has so composed the body, giving more abundant honor to that member which lacked, so that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. And if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it." --1 Corinthians 12:24b-26

We are all part of the body of Christ. We need each other but we do not have control over each other. We work together under the leadership of Christ. He alone calls the shots. United, under God. Sound familiar? Right, because each of us has different backgrounds and different talents -- but our goals should be the same: bringing God glory.

- 3 - Opting for the easy way out.

"Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego replied to the king, 'O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to give you an answer concerning this matter. If it be so, our god whom we serve is able to deliver us from the furnace of blazing fire; and He will deliver us out of your hand, O king. But even if He does not, let it be known to you, O king, that we are not going to serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up'." --Daniel 3:16-18

In this day and age, everything is made to be speedily cooked, easily stored, quickly gathered, without toil or perspiration. Even the sense of accomplishment is too quickly dismissed. At the register, the person ringing you up for groceries couldn't do the simple calculations required to reward you correct change for large bills if the power suddenly shut off. Movies and television shows capture rapid movement and speech, sequencing shorter clips together in an quick arrangement to give viewers an adrenaline high while failing to provide a plot rich in quality and imagination.

We're surrounded by a world that makes sense out of what comes natural, what is easiest to attain.

Most times, when faced with adversity, the easiest thing to do is to run away. If you're facing a situation like the one Joseph did, then by all means flee! However we demonstrate our love for Christ to a watching world when we love our enemies. When we stand up for the Truth, our character and hearts shine through the darkness.

Consider the plight of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. Remember what happened in response to their obedience to and fear of God? "He is my rock and my salvation, my stronghold; I shall not be shaken," declares David (Psalm 62:6).

- 4 - Not committing to a home church or integrating into the body of Christ.

Read Ephesians 4.

Okay, this might seem trivial, but it holds great significance.

I've noticed that lately the new trend is to attend more than one church, full-time. For one reason or another, we have lost sight of what the goal of church is.

What is the point of attending church? It is not an avenue to increase ourselves but rather to bring attention to the only One Who is worthy of our praise. As John the Baptist said of Christ in John 3:30, "He must increase, but I must decrease." When we forsake the goal of building the body of Christ and pursuing others in His name, in order to better ourselves or give ourselves the best, then our focus is not on Christ but rather on ourselves.

Stop looking for a place that will fulfill your personal needs. Commit to one church body. Actively seek ways to build up the people around you, to encourage and love them as Christ would, to grow together in humility and truth. Don't be content to merely play "bench warmer." Get out in the field!

In order for the church body to begin looking like a body, the eyes can't just up and walk away to another part of town. Besides, how will the body work without sight? Pick a church body to plug into and begin to actively serve. Expect it to be messy.

For those worried about integrating into a new church body... It's already a reality: We're united as part of one Body, a church without walls and regulations and proper places. A church where there is only one head and that is of Christ. Why worry what others think of you? Use your God-given gifts and talents to bless them instead. Give praise to the Lord in all you do!

Letting go the reigns and other short musings.

Before I begin, I severe writer's block. I have not been able to script any of my thoughts lately because they have been a jumbled mess of unhappiness and ridiculous to boot. I don't think anyone need read such teenaged-drama. It's not fun to write either... Much like gossip, all it does is stir up more discontent and remorse.

But I have this need to write that supersedes my chaotic mental state.

I am very aware that lately, my walk with Christ has been playing a minor role as my attitude has grown worse toward people and situations outside my control. I've experienced anger and discontent, immediate sorrow, hatred, frustration, remorse, lightness of heart when things go my way... Eek. It's ugly.

I haven't liked being around me lately. And yet, at the same time, I double-face it and am nice, sweet, selfless with people I really care about. Wow. More to dislike. More to contemplate. More to grieve the Holy Spirit. I am a maze of anger brought on by things I feel are going wrong or are not "right."

In time I realize my problem is that verse... The one that plagues me lately? Yep that one. Proverbs 14:12... Which is mirrored in Proverbs 16:25.

"There is a way which seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death."

Jesus, I love you. I trust you. And I relinquish control. I need you to take the part of me that fights you and nail it to the cross for good. You are the Lord of my life; I will follow where you lead.

simply love.

Tonight a group of friends and I discussed the amazing fact that as believers in Christ, we are children of God -- bought with a price we could never pay and chosen to fall more deeply in love with our Creator. Pretty awesome.

I'll have more on this at a later time.

As I left our small gathering, one thought ran through my mind: The things we often take for granted are the very things we should value more, not less. Simply love.

You know...the unconditional kind? It is easier for me to imagine one million dollars in cold, hard cash. But of course I've never seen that -- and I experience God's love on a daily basis. How consistent is that? Not so much.

I went through a phase when all I wanted to listen to was harsh metal and drums (not sure why?), screamo, and wailing guitars. If you know me now, you're probably laughing incredulously. I'm a bit removed from that genre...just a bit.

However, as my musical tastes branched out and away from this scene to another, I found a song that remains a favorite today: Pillar's Simply Love. I figured I would give credit where it was due before I write the lyrics out...

I've made it so hard on myself
Turning my back on how you felt
Seeing a lie that led me on
Leaving a Love that did no wrong
That's what it took for me to say

That You simply love
Despite all the stupid things I've done
It's hard to remember that You simply love
Even though I know not what I've done
It's hard to remember that You simply love

I've tried to do all this on my own
Not thinking once of what You've shown
All that I've done has blinded me
To everything that You have for me
I want You to know that I finally see

The lyricist goes on to question why it's so hard to comprehend, when it should be so simple. I love what Jerry Bridges says in The Gospel for Real Life, "So here we sit on death row, condemned as rebels, awaiting our execution. But instead of the death we deserve, we are made sons and daughters of the very King we have rebelled against. Instead of death, we get eternal life. Instead of wrath, we receive favor. Instead of eternal ruin, we are made heirs of God and coheirs with Christ."

We cannot accomplish one good deed that would earn the King's favor, nor could we make restitution for our sins in any way. Jesus paid it all. In full. One time. For all have sinned and fallen short. But God in His mercy while we were still steeped in sin, sent His perfect Son as a ransom. How great the Father's love.

BSF

Sometimes, well, all the time actually...I read something that is pretty much a sucker punch to my spiritual life. Today has been a conviction yet again to examine my heart in the light of Scripture -- I always find myself lacking. Funny thing. And He is always sufficient. Surprised? Yeah, me either.

God has been really pushing hard on this total reliance on Him lately -- and I will admit. I haven't been. I'm too eager to go and talk to someone else first, hopeful that they'll provide the answer I need (usually, the answer I think I need, which is rather self-serving!).

But I have been reminded again that nothing a) takes my heavenly father by surprise or b) is too large or small for Him in His all-sufficient grace to handle. My finite mind will most likely never understand the conundrum of grace or unconditional love, which far surpasses all my fears.

Now my heart is overwhelmed / by al-sufficient grace / for I have seen my weaknesses / become Your perfect strength -- You rescued me / from all my fears / and loosed the chains / of wasted years.

Why is it that I can sing this song with such conviction - but when it comes to living it out loud, I come up near empty??? Seriously. When does my belief show? When does Jesus truly become my Savior, Restorer, Rebuilder, Rewarder, my Refuge, Redeemer, Defender, or Healer?

When I surrender all.

"Do you believe & depend on your Lord so that He alone is sufficient for you in your present circumstances & need?"

Sometimes, my BSF notes are like a 2-by-4 to my drowsy perspective. My apathetic belief. My inept acceptance that my God - who by the way created the very mind I think with - is sufficient, above all. And that He could possibly accomplish more than I'd ever dare to ask Him for (mostly because I wouldn't know that I'm steeped in sin without His grace in the first place).

All I know is this - though I may experience times of trial and doubt in this life, God has a plan beyond my wildest imagination and I am confident as Paul wrote (Philippians 1:6)...

"He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."

Until then, my friends, blessed assurance - Jesus is mine! And can be yours too. Yes, I believe in an all-sufficient Savior.

Expectations.

There are several things you can expect in this life- but the biggest by far and most constant, is disappointment. I don't need experience for this one. Observation alone speaks to it. Praising God for the hope He gives that can never disappoint. In this life or next. Amen.

forgiving.

Have you ever been hurt by someone who truly believes in their heart that they are doing well? This has occurred recently and... I wasn't quite sure how to take it at first. I mean, I'm definitely not a fan. Not good insofar as communicating my hurts go either, at times. And not quite into the whole counterattack method. Seems juvenile and judgmental, in a punitive sense. I'm not a person who strikes back. In the past, yes. But I've recognized that it's not effective for building relationships... I actually usually prefer to simper and go on the defensive, hide my hurt away and never address it.

Smile and internalize?

Problem with this method: the hurt is still there and it festers beneath the surface. I'm not really a fan of this either. Lesser of the two evils is the hurt. The hiding it away part stings worse over time and gets me down.

Not sure if there is another way than to forgive and let go.

Thus, this post. I'm letting God deal with this one. And I'm letting go the ropes.

armor.

Don't let my tough, no-nonsense demeanor fool you.
Should you ever be okay with "I'm doing well"?
Don't let me get away without tears.
Try to get at what's within.
But please be gentle.
I bruise easily.

four hours.

Before the plane that holds my sweet best friend and my dear boyfriend lands! To God be glory :) I know He's continuing to do great things in the hearts and lives of those left behind in South Africa as the team continues to fly west and home.

This week has been crazy busy and full of visiting with friends (love you, Hope!), family, work, and a bit of stress to complicate matters with the latter. But nothing that couldn't be handled through prayer, reliance on God's mercy, and much rest / coffee. I think I ingested enough caffeine to last me all month. And now, with four hours to go, I feel like a kid on Christmas Eve. Is this silly? I hope not. Excited!

henry wadsworth longfellow.

The nearer the dawn
the darker the night.

south africa. a love note.

My boyfriend is on a mission trip with our church. They are in South Africa for the better part of two weeks and I miss him.

In all honesty, I started today feeling a little sorry for myself... I mean it's hard not to miss someone who's in another country and virtually inaccessible. Especially if it's someone with whom you are able to communicate at any time all day long, if you so choose. I find it all too easy to be bummed because of a lack of communication.

But it's all a matter of perspective, isn't it?

The great thing about Ryan's mission trip to South Africa is that he is in constant contact with the One who called him there. The One who brought us together. The One who sustains life and offers His forgiveness and grace anew each day. The God of the Bible; the One who sent His Son to die for the sins of the world for all time.

So there I sat in front of my screen this afternoon, my attitude newly checked. I began to think about the people Ryan will encounter over the next two weeks. My heart ached.

Imagine ...

One day in the future, God will return and take His people home. For those He calls, it's going to be a day of rejoicing -- for those who have not repented and turned to Him, however, it will be a different day indeed. Total separation from God. Cut off from communication with Him completely. No one on earth has ever experienced this.

And the Bible says there will be a gnashing teeth. To 'gnash' is to grind or strike together by force. Have you ever heard this sound? Ugh. My dog grinds his teeth together whenever fearful or distrustful, and at times when he is angry and cannot find justice. It's not a pleasant thing to watch and it's even more painful to listen to.

I would never wish this type of desperate fear and complete separation from Truth on anyone. Especially on those who have never heard the Good News of a loving Savior and Redeemer, Who alone can rescue.

Who, Oh Lord, could save themselves, their own soul could heal?
Our shame was deeper than the sea; Your grace is deeper still.

You, Oh Lord, have made a way; the great divide You heal
For when our hearts were far away, Your love went further still

You alone can rescue, you alone can save
You alone can lift us from the grave
You came down to find us, led us out of death
To You alone belong the highest praise.

We lift up our eyes, lift up our eyes -- You're the Giver of Life!

(Matt Redman)

We who have the Truth and the Life ... should we not share Him with a world in need? Let us be His hands and feet, rather than bench-warmers, and rise up while there is still time.

Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying,
"Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?"
And I said, "Here am I. Send me!"
- Isaiah 6:8

Please pray with me for the team in South Africa, as well as for those lives they will inevitably touch while there. Love to you all.

la nina.

Sun-fed sunflowers.

This year, La Nina definitely shook things up in the northwest. We had an extended spring season followed by splotches of cool sunshine, downpours, clouds. I mean, above and beyond what is normal. Contrary to popular belief, summer and fall are actually gorgeous here in Washington!

Blueberries!

Whatever the case may be ... La Nina, I shall be glad of your departure. We had a record eighteen minutes of 80+ degree (Fahrenheit) weather, all the way through August.

Now that it's September, however... Summer weather is finally, defiantly here. I feel bad for the kids who have started school already.

Spar with tomato plants and squash vines.

We have this awesome thing called blue skies right now. Quite the phenomenon. Makes people tired and irritable. They complain about headaches and dehydration. They go outside without proper sun-protection and fry.

Looking forward to snacking on these late-fall grapes.

Imagine the lovely salads... yellow pear tomatoes.

I am currently in a skirt, slippers, and a long-sleeve shirt. Comfortable.

You thought I was kidding, didn't you?
I am SO fashion-conscious ;)

I have been freezing ever since returning to Washington. I wear sweaters at work because the air conditioning is too darned cold!

California, you have done me a disservice. I mean, I had a nice tan but now it's fading.

Colorful carrots were scrumptious!

But boy did this weather create the perfect mix for a garden! Sunflowers are towering over seven feet tall, the poll beans keep producing, sweet peas by the bushel (which magically never reached the inside of the house?), strawberries, cucumbers, more than enough tomatoes to share with several families, and a bumper crop of both raspberries and blueberries. Rhubarb was a success ... the grapes will soon ripen ... squash on the vine ... and we're holding out with the recent turn of the weather for a nice amount of figs, too. The non-native Himalayan blackberries have been great this year too ... thankfully we haven't found any in the yard!

Blackberry heaven. Be careful of prickers, however.
Scratches from those itch for at least a week!

Quite a summer for garden-fresh produce!

Perhaps La Nina isn't so bad after all...

since may...

Hi everyone!

So...

This is the longest overdue post in the history of EVER. Well, for me anyway.

I was trying to come up with an excuse, but words fail me.

I am back home in Seattle, which should not come as new information to any of those who follow my clearly sporadic blog. I have been home since the end of May. Four jam-packed months of crazy adventure after crazy adventure. With a few huge events thrown in between for good measure.

As a little update of sorts, I will include a smallish outline of late spring / summer events that have occurred since May...

1. Boyfriend flew to Cali to help me pack; I met him at the Fly Away with all my stuff JAMMED into my tiny car.

Packing with Kayla Joy. More like ... AHHHHHH! Where did all this stuff come from??

Last of the large items and I should have put it in first...
my car was packed so tight!

On the way up the coast from Cali...
We stopped for coffee at a Denny's around 2am or so.

2. Returned home, with almost all my stuff. Fun fact: I can now FILL an entire two-room apartment with everything I own. No joke. And I would actually be comfortable. I am not presently comfortable. Got a small rental storage space for said stuff.

3. Had a birthday party, courtesy of my bestest friends :) I love you, Ry and Britt. They're wonderful, selfless people. Another fun fact: I SUCK at thank you notes. After high school, I just apparently lost that skill. If I ever truly had it.

Taking a break from being wonderfully domestic
to pose for this shot with me. Love you, boo.

The marvelous host and hostess at the after party.
Combine too much sugar and bubble tea... fond memories!

4. Finally got to spend some quality time with friends from home... you know who you are. And you're all amazing!!!

Briggs' beach house!

Egroup + Newly-weds + Dev + S'mores

5. Helped my mother with wedding decor / etc., as well as organizing things for my sister's wedding. It was a crazy time. Wedding: June 17! There wasn't much time. Celebrated the wedding of the year with my sister.

Helping Mom with decorations.

Pinwheels.

This was so fun!

Fun tie-shopping with Allen for the groomsmen.

Bachelorette party! Italian candies at Pike Place Market.

Presents for the newly-weds. Wow!

6. BANGS!

I have never been happier with a haircut.

7. Went to several other lovely weddings between now and then with my handsome boyfriend. We also celebrated one year together at the beginning of July. Pretty much awesome :)

Roses <3

8. Missed Valencia. How in the world I managed that, I'm not sure. I vowed that would never be the case. And I definitely miss my students. Can I just say... I loved teaching that crazy bunch, no matter how much grief they gave me about assignments.

Two class periods... My seniors. They've since graduated!

The boys in Period 4.

My girls brought me balloons for an early birthday surprise.

Barb, my favorite customer from my old store in Valencia.

She brought me flowers to say 'good luck at home' and 'happy birthday' all at the same time... miss her much as well.

My store buddies, out to breakfast at Egg Plantation the day before I left ... Kenny, Kim, Bryan.

Des and I on our last late-night sushi date.

9. I'm feeling like this list is a little longer than I promised.

So for your viewing pleasure...
I have included this picture of my guy.
Makes me laugh every time I see it! :)

10. Ocean Shores with Ryan! Best minivacay since Carpenteria with my sister this spring.

Driving around Ocean Shores on mopeds... a blast!

Toes in warm sand? Perfect. Sign me up!

11. Enjoyed being home. Baked cookies, took naps in the sun, watched the rain fall (do you know how much I missed the rain?!), and did all kinds of PNW activities. Hikes. Rock climbing. Biking. Swimming in the Pacific Ocean. Mopeds. Chicken chasing.

Out to eat at Cactus with my parents... they missed me.

Baby chicks, in their cute stage.
They are now eating squawking machines
that hate to be held...

My sweet friends, Renee and Brittany, and I.

Early season hike with some fab kids.

Walking Maluku with Kayla, Allen, Mom at a local park.

Berry-picking.

12. Went to the doc to update my asthma and migraine meds. Not that this is the greatest, but life is drastically improved when you can actually get through a day without a migraine or allergic reaction.

13. Live at a Starbucks nearby. Well, actually I work there but you know. Small details. I sometimes overlook those ;)

This is me on a day off ;)

14. Finished my quilt!!!! This is a huge accomplishment. I kid you not. I have only been working on the thing for two years now. Between school and being in California for a year and work, however, something had to give. This was one. Very happy with the final product.

Tackling the hand-sewing portion.

I think that's enough of an update for now.

Actually, I may have bored you to tears. I may get into it more and add pictures as I go along... it's a tedious process and it's kind of late now :)

up in the air.

Just a short list of things I'm personally struggling with and praying about lately...

1. Where to go to graduate school and how to find the right program?
2. Should I apply for a teaching position now?
3. Opportunity to become a shift lead at work has opened up.
4. Figuring out my five-year plans...whee.
5. Feeling like I'm running around in circles with the above.

Good thing God knows the end from the beginning -- because everything feels very up in the air right now. If you think of me, please pray for these things. Thank you!

self-awareness...

I am afraid to go tackle deeper subjects with people. It takes others to really pull that out of me. I probably come across like this: "I don't care; don't bother me with your problems. In fact, I hate any physical interaction. Please, don't touch me." And really, it's the exact opposite.

How in the world do I change this??

CHANGES

My new site ... been in the works for a while ...

http://pensareblog.com/

Thank you all for subscribing and following me!

I will still be updating here, however, since I am more familiar with the layout and have a set design to work from. As I get more comfortable, I'll progress and most likely do away with this site. But we'll see!

Love to you all.

as par usual.

Hey guys.

Like usual, when I've too much to do and not enough time, I resort to FREAKING out and writing a whole bunch of nothing. Sorry!

Love you all.

"Shaksperian Sonnet"

Contributing party: one of my ninth graders. This was written by hand. From before I started teaching this class as a student teacher. Found it today; it must have been fallen off the desk and got lodged in between the desk and wall. I couldn't resist sharing it with you all. It pretty much made my day.

"You art the most beautiful thing
that eyes could see.

Your eyes art like the nice blue sky,
Your hair is like an autumn tree,
You look as if you can fly.

"Your face is that of a goddess.
I do not deserve your niceness.
I should have gotten less,
You releave me of my stress.

"You art never repetative in any way,
You make me so happy,
Every time I see you
I need to lay
You make my legs flappy.

"You art so beautiful,
you make my heart full."

NINE.

Hello ...

I realize it's been quite some time since my last post. And I really cannot take more time to finish this one before I shoot off to class this morning ... but ...

There are only nine days between you and me, Washington.

I'm coming home soon.

(p.s. I have a few blogs between May 1 and now, just have not "published" them to this site ... eventually, I will have time)

Love, Dominique

on this day.

A little history lesson.

1 May 1945

Germany announced Hilter dead.

See the full story on the BBC News page.

- - -

Today.

1 May 2011

The world learned of Osama bin Ladin's death.

See the full story on the ABC News page.

Just saying ... I think the FBI needs to update their Ten Most Wanted page.

- - -

Do not rejoice in the falling of an enemy, do not rejoice in his death.

Proverbs 24:17 -- read it in context here for more information.

It is for the Lord to avenge, to judge, to vindicate.

I'll let Him do His job.