quote to process.

Upon turning 30 years old, a man took up his camera and began snapping pictures -- one for each day of his life.

Watch his short film and browse through pictures at this site: http://number27.org/today.php

What resonated with me:

"In order to make sense of your experience
... you really need privacy. You need space,
in order to contemplate and grow."

When I really have a moment to pause and reflect, that is when I have my most groundbreaking moments.

In the next two weeks, I am hoping that I will be able to enjoy those moments I have that enable me to truly reflect on my experiences here and how they will impact my future.

This is a hectic, stressful time for students ...

I need to remember this for myself, too, and set aside time to critically evaluate my movements during the week in order to correct them for better use in teaching and life, in general. I will use the mistakes I made to inform future endeavors.

Although it might appear a "duh" statement at best, I enjoyed this quote as a piece of advice.

Taking time away from the haphazard quality of life and stress that is attached is beneficial not only for me but also for those I interact with on a daily basis.

truth.

Semesters are much too long.

Sanity levels plummeting quickly.

But then again ...

The semester is over in three weeks.

Yessir, home before June.

I can't express how much I love semesters.

on three hours.

On three hours of sleep ...

(1) - I have completely caught up my binder for the work required of me by Monday. Okay, with a few things yet to accomplish tomorrow afternoon. C'est la vie. This is actually a good thing.

(2) - Completed a successful close at my store. Went down without a hitch, far as we could tell.

(3) - Taught several classes, graded at least four assignments (each class = 30 students, on average).

(4) - Written up the twenty-six lesson plans (I have two vastly different types of classes to teach each school day) remaining in this semester.

(5) - Begun my final Teacher Performance assessment.

(6) - Put the finishing touches on my Unit.

... I don't recommend or condone the decision to get three hours of sleep last night in this post. The resulting insanity and negative attitude alone should be repulsive enough for my readership to not follow in my footsteps. As if you do! ;)

Thank you all for your encouragement at this time!

Love, Dominique

hold up.

You mean, I should have been writing my papers rather than updating my blog?

Aw, man! I knew I read that wrong.

- - -

All I have to say for myself is ...

sayonara

( ... for now.)

- - -

Love to you all,
- Dominique

p.s. I am kidding. I just have quite a bit of grading to accomplish and papers due, and such little time ... Soon this madness will be over.

determination.

There are some who lead by example.
There are some who teach.
And there are yet others who accomplish both with excellence.

With God's grace, I hope to fall into the final category.

NEW life.

good friday.

Yes. He did die.

Why is it good?
Shall I list the reasons?

- He is God.
- The grave could not hold Him down.
- Through Him, we are given hope of life eternal.

Amen. Blessed day.

- - -

Oh, to see my name
Written in the wounds,
For through Your suffering, I am free.
Death is crushed to death;
Life is mine to live,
Won through Your selfless Love.

- - -

no hope.

The point is not that He died, though this was an integral part of His plan.
No, every man dies.
Jesus was fully man and fully God.

The point is rather, that He lives again.

Do you not see?
Have you not heard?

Without His death and resurrection from death unto life --

There is NO HOPE for me.
There is NO HOPE for you.

- - -
Now the daylight flees;
Now the ground beneath
Quakes as its Maker bows His head.
Curtain torn in two,
Dead are raised to life --
"FINISHED" the vict'ry cry!
- - -

the most pivotal thing.

So, you know the story inside and out?
I know To Kill a Mockingbird inside and out. Does that count for anything?

It's just a "nice story" but without backing?
First, it's definitely not "nice" -- a brutal beating and death on a cross = never nice.

Here's the thing ...

Without the resurrection of Christ from the dead, my relationship and my faith falls flat.

How could the death of a mere man save you and give eternal life?

What if that man were GOD?

If God could not raise Himself from death, would you follow Him?

Yeah, no. Didn't think so.

Even if you didn't have any knowledge of Scripture, you could understand the ramifications of if He did not rise.

For those of you who are reading with contempt ...

-- "Why Easter? Doesn't she know that this is a pagan holiday?
She should have called it Resurrection Sunday!" --

... may I remind you that Christ uses the foolishness of this world to bring glory to Himself? Nothing is beyond His reach.

It's not the name you use to describe the event. It's what you are focused on that makes the difference to a watching world.

- - -
Soar we now where Christ has lead -- Allelujah!
Following our exalted head -- Allelujah!
Made like Him, like Him we rise -- Allelujah!
Ours the cross, the grave, the skies -- Allelujah!
- - -

NEW life.

Believe on the Lord Jesus and you will be saved. (Romans 10:8-10)

Simple, beautiful, unique, powerful, DONE.
Nothing that you could come up with on your own would be good enough.

- - -
I hear the Savior say,
"Thy strength indeed is small;
Child of weakness, watch and pray,
Find in me thy all in all."

Jesus paid it all.
All to Him I owe.
Sin had left a crimson stain.
He washed it white as snow.

For nothing good have I,
Whereby Thy grace to claim,
I'll wash my garments white
In the blood of Calv'ry's Lamb.
- - -

your choice.

Whether you believe or not is your choice. He has already paid it all -- in full.

You have only to accept or reject His gift.

april shower.

Kayla's California bridal shower
went off without a hitch on April 10
-- except --
everyone was either sick or had other plans!

Despite this small disappointment,
everything worked out great.

- - -

Hope, Kayla, Anna, and I enjoyed
the following fun and good eats:

1.) What party is complete without complimentary
coffee and tea, sugar, and Styrofoam cups?

2.) Hopey (eating and) cutting some
sweet summer strawberries:

3.) A little announcement on the board about
Kayla's bridal shower ...

4.) A beach-theme table decked out with goodies:

Easy party table decoration ideas:
a plain linen table cloth, color / pattern squares from
scrap-booking supplies found in JoAnn's,
shells found at a local beach, lights, an old bird cage,
glass vases, a flower or two, family photos.

- - -
I designed a rose pattern out of delicious
chocolate cookies ... go to Costco if you need a fix ;)

- - -

5.) Pictures on a clothesline, just for fun!

This is a cute way to display an eclectic bunch of photos
and any sweet notes that may or may not have been
attached to delivery flowers over the years ...

6.) Cute little gift table, complete with tiny party favors!
Wish I had been able to give more of them out ...

If you are looking for economical party favors,
try including little seed packets, teas, candies,
fun hair accessories, and pens ...

- - -
Other photos, as follows, are from after set-up:
- - -

We played a few little games

-- this one: a blind drawing of Kayla in her dress --
Anna won :)

Find other party ideas here.

Gifts from loving friends :)

A present from home : Piggy Pop!
Washington bridal shower theme was
"southern belle."

All said and told, all four of us enjoyed
an fun party full of laughter and smiles, a little
celebration between friends and roommates.

i have lost it.

Twenty-five days and I'mma be home,
Back to WA with my traveling gnome.

Sure wish I had one of those!

After work, I shouldn't write.

I'll be tired 'cause we'll be truckin' through the night,
Kicking back espresso shots ... and ready for a fight?*

Yup. I have officially lost it.

Embarrassing, terrible prose.


:)

*Pretty sure at about hour 12, Ryan and I will not only be well on our way to insanity but also fighting to keep our eyes open as we drive back to the Great Northwest.

concert night.

If a picture is worth a thousand words ...
How much is a picture with a thousand words ON it?

Here is what my lesson plans look like
-- for a single day --
And this is why I no longer type them up,
unless I am being observed and it is required of me.

Yesterday was Kayla's concert with
The Master's College chorale at Forest Lawn
in Glendale, California.

Hope drove and we sang songs and talked
to get Kayla's mind off of her nerves.
She had the only two solos that night ... so beautiful!

I honestly was starting to fall asleep in the car,
so I took pictures to keep myself awake :)

I know ... clever, right? Yeah, it didn't work.

Sunshine was beautiful
-- but because I work inside, I haven't seen much of it --
so I wear the shades to avoid migraines.

Kayla getting ready for her concert:

I don't know if either Hope or I were much help ;)

View off the back step of the Resurrection Hall.

The hall ... reminiscent of European cathedrals, yes?
Beautiful inside too, but I wasn't allowed to take footage.
Imagine echo-y vaulted ceilings and stained-glass:

Those of you who wish to hear Kayla's solos ...
I did get some audio.

Going to attempt an upload of both
Pie Jesu -- and -- Lux Aeterna
but the upload will probably be sometime this weekend,
since I have limited time and energy.

Both solos were performed at piano
(very soft, for those who are not musically-inclined).

She did awesome! Love you, sissy.

four weeks!

Okay!

Can you believe...?

I honestly can't.

Since driving down here in the heat of summer last year,
I have spent thirty-four weeks in California.
More than enough time, if you know what I mean?

I see the (picture) above often off my apartment's balcony.
A delicious California dessert sunset...

(p.s. I didn't count the three weeks I spent in Washington over winter break and Christmas for obvious reasons.)

Four weeks to go...

That is technically 686 hours -- in which time I will teach around 120 hours, work at least 80 hours (yay, part-time employment), attend class another 8 hours, work on my TPA and lesson planning another 250 hours, pack up over another 88 hours (this is relatively true: 3.67 days should about cover it), and sleep about 140 hours (which I suppose doesn't really cut it, at a whopping 20% of 686, but it is an accurate amount).

And then...HOME.

What I am missing right now is hard to put into words, but it includes all things listed in the following run-on sentence: I miss cold nights and icy windshields in the morning, family to hug and talk to and share life with, best friends to meet up with and support and encourage on a face-to-face level (do I have any other type of friend? you all are so wonderful!), the warm conversations, caring embrace and holding hands with my boyfriend, adventures into Seattle for a late-night rendezvous, trips to the mountains and the ocean, sea spray and waves, Maluku's squeaks of excitement, mournful eyes, and distinct fish breath (comes with the nervous dog, who I miss dearly), clucking of hens in the backyard (and chasing the occasional escapee, lovingly named "Blackie" by my mother), late-night fellowships with Community Group from church (my extended family), making faces at the little orange thing swimming in a round tank on the kitchen counter (Scales is an awesome fish with a huge personality, really), my sweet little room to share with only me and a bunch of furniture. Well, that's all for now.

Ciao!

power of words.

I watched this today and afterward,
I knew I had to share it with more people --
and who better than you, my invisible audience?

The power of words.

(And a Good Samaritan...)

We pass by people
on a daily basis who need encouragement and love
-- even from a stranger --
but do we meet the need when we see it?

Or are we too uncomfortable?

Sometimes it's easier to ignore the situation
than to bring attention to it.

Even when it's reality.

best medicine.

Laughter is what I'm missing -- so I have to make it up out of thin air, right?

Sometimes it's easier than that.

Teachers are known for being resourceful. This situation is no different. My best resources are my students.

While ranting and raving about how Aldous Huxley's allusions to criticism of Christianity in the wake of World War II as well as the projected affect of the suffragette movement, etc., manifest themselves in his novel Brave New World... I ask if anyone is lost or has a question related to the novel. The following scenario was the ultimate result of said question:

Student, rolling his eyes -- "What do you care about this stuff. You're getting paid, after all."

Me, clearly not expecting the question -- "Huh...?"

Student, gesturing in frustration and shrugging his shoulders -- "You're getting paid, right? Money? As a student teacher? Why else would you do this stuff."

Suddenly the interest of the class is peaked. Student looks at me, a triumphant grin etched across his mug. Ah, so ya think I'm getting money out of the deal, eh? Unfortunately, in light of my recent financial straits due to a year away from home and limited time to work, I found the question insanely and ironically funny, and begin to laugh.

Me, smiling like a moron -- "Oh definitely not. I wish! I do this for free. For you."

Student, as the smug drops off and the pink blooms -- "Wait, what?"

A few other voices joined in to the tune of...
"Seriously, you're forced to do this for free? Well, that's not fair."
"Sick, you do this for fun?" (Not the good kind of sick, I wager. More along the lines of, "There must be something wrong with you!")

Me -- "For fun? Yes and no. I love English and I truly enjoy teaching. But ..."

From the Peanut Gallery (my period 4 boys), I hear a few "Oooh"s.

Other student, smiling -- "I bet you don't like this class huh, Miss Kandt? We're seniors and we don't care..."
"Yeah, Miss Kandt! We don't."
"Did you get to pick this class? It's like, the worst one."
"This has to be frustrating for you."
"You love English??"

Me -- "Honestly, I really do enjoy teaching. You all make things interesting and entertaining. But, it's almost like an internship. You know, you don't get the pay until you get the credential? So, I have to work."

"What do you do?"
"Where do you work?"

Me, shrugging -- "I close at Starbucks most days of the week. I leave here and go to work for at least four hours. Not only do I work during week nights but also weekends. I have a class of my own as well."

Student, now slightly impressed, issues a challenge -- "So, what's your favorite drink."

Me -- "In a tall ice cup: Triple shot espresso over ice, two pumps white mocha and peppermint, and a splash of soy to top it off..."

Um, if that didn't prove it...

Peanut Gallery and others, but mostly the Peanut Gallery:

"When do you work?"
"What days?"
"What's your schedule this week?"
"Can we visit?"

Another student, curious -- "If we come in, can we get drinks for free?"

Master Teacher, exasperated -- "Just go in; get your coffee, say hi, and leave. Simple as that."

Student, turning to fist-bump a friend -- "Ha! What! You just said, 'Get your coffee, get high, and leave' - um, classy!"

Master Teacher, waving -- "Wave hello. Not 'get high'."

Me, without missing a beat -- "Well, I guess it depends on how many shots of espresso you have."

dreidel?

I have a lot of grading
Wish I could throw it all away
When my hand starts cramping
I know what I will say --

Grading, grading, grading!!
It's no use today --
Oh grading, grading, grading,
Rather go to bed early.

Sorry...couldn't resist.
I was just listening to Straight No Chaser.
Pure genius. :)

wrestle.

Ever been disappointed in yourself?

That is where I find myself now.

God's grace. Is always. Sufficient.

But then ... Why can I not let go?

five weeks!

It's coming down to that time... I'm just hoping that things will continue to move forward. I am mentally and physically exhausted and ready to come home to stay. There is something good to be said for having my own room and a consistency in quality of living. Both of these are things I lack in Valencia. Home, you are greatly missed, but I will be with you again shortly!

holiness

Holiness, holiness is what I long for.
Holiness, holiness is what I need.
Holiness, holiness is what You want from me, for me.

Take my heart -- and mold it.
Take my mind -- transform it.
Take my will -- conform it.
To Yours, to Yours, oh Lord.

I love this song. I take it as a directive from Scripture, "Be holy, as I am holy." This is no suggestion. It's a motif, if you will, throughout Scripture. Be holy, as I am holy.

Hebrews 12:14 -- Pursue peace with men and sanctification through Christ.
Philippians 4:8 -- Only dwell on those things that are of God, given to us through his Holy Spirit.
Leviticus 20:7 -- The call to be holy is from the beginning of time and is relevant today!
Romans 11:16 -- The Lord is the Vine and we are the branches (John 15:5). We are to produce fruit (Galatians 5:22-25) and show that we, though grafted as we are into the tree and the family of God (Romans 11:22-24), are of the Vine.
Ephesians 1:4 -- In His mercy, God chose us to follow Him and be holy.
Ephesians 5:27 -- As the bride of Christ, the church is to be clean and holy in His sight.
Isaiah 6:3 -- This is how holy our God is: the angels cannot stop singing his praises. We know that our Lord is worthy of our praise, but do we offer this praise nonstop through actions and words?
1 Peter 1:15 -- Again, we are called to be holy because the Lord is holy.
1 Peter 2:5 -- Holiness is something the Lord expects of us.
1 Corinthians 3:17 -- The temple of the Lord is sacred and holy to Him; treat your body as the temple of the Lord, which He has created and preserves.

Holiness is a concept I have yet to maintain in my own life, thus I also write as a way to remind myself of my absolute need for a Savior. I strive to live my life for Him -- for He alone is holy -- and as such, He is wholly worthy to receive my undivided attention, love, and praise.

My prayer for myself and for you is that these references do not merely make us nod in affirmation or shrink back in feigned disinterest (or perhaps discomfort?), but rather cause us both to reevaluate the life we lead. To examine ourselves in the light of Scripture, to allow His presence to move us away from complacency and toward true Life. Only through the holy cleansing that His Son can afford can we find this true and abundant Life.

Why did I choose a quilt as the picture for this post? There are several things I think about when I look at this quilt in particular. It took over a year until I was fully satisfied with my fabric selection. Each square was lovingly hand-cut. Since I had a pattern in mind but too many fabric squares to work with, I spent the good portion of two days piecing the quilt together until it was finally perfect (on the floor). After several more steps, more sewing and tearing out, I finally am close to presenting it to the public for scrutiny. But I love that quilt, regardless of any critique that may come.

In some small ways, holiness is like a quilt. God is the master quilt designer. He will put you through a cutting process and piece you together after a fall. He will prune your branches by weeding out those pieces that just don't fit. He will take the time sew you together or tear out those stitches you haphazardly placed, that are not going down the right path -- if you let him. Through all the ups and downs, He loves and treasures you as His own.

musings about madness.

Do you ever find yourself in a conversation with someone you barely know, and about halfway into the conversation, realize that person does not know anything about the content of the conversation? Disconcerting. How do you tell that person in a nice way that you know they don't know? Should you even say anything at all? Okay, probably not. At least it provides cheap entertainment.