wrapping things up.

"Twenty-oh-ten." That's how I remember you, 2010.
Twenty-eleven. Another year to count. I begin again.

I continue to write down the days until I return home.
To stay.

one less than three.

This final countdown is so exciting and yet the hardest I have ever embarked on. Never in my life have I had so much to do and so little time to do it in. There is no method to my madness; only madness to my method. I feel alone because I have to be in order to get my work accomplished.

My saving grace: 59 hours to go and I may melt into the headrest provided in the airplane, until I touchdown in Seattle.

I was once saying, "come quickly, December 17!" But now I feel I need more time. This is my exhaustion speaking; I will be coming home that day, no matter what!

Philippians 4:13 is my motto.

Psalms 145:18-19

“The LORD is nigh unto all them that call upon him, to all that call upon him in truth. He will fulfill the desire of them that fear him: he also will hear their cry, and will save them."

This is what I long for; but I think, if I'm honest with myself, this is what I miss most of the time. The verse as a whole is excellent, but there is a dept to this verse -- an idea that builds upon itself.

Calling upon Him in truth is synonymous with fearing Him. If you do not approach His throne of grace with this attitude, you will not be saved and He will not hear your cry for help, no matter the urgency of your plight.

I think I could over simplify or over analyze this verse ... but basically, what strikes me most, is how quickly God will come to our aid if only we humble ourselves, humble ourselves before Him and render to him fear and obedience.

The desire of my heart is to follow Him all the days of my life.

roller coaster.

Today was such a good day.
- Woke up later than usual, so I got some good sleep in.
- Did some homework.
- Talked with my best friend and confidante. Got to see his face.
- Joined the celebration at the most beautiful wedding I have ever attended.
- I cried with joy.

Today sucked.
- Realized I still have 12 assignments between now and when I'm home in SIX days.
- Dealt with too many selfish people.
- Bitterly cried from the hurt caused by misunderstanding and unkind words.

I don't know how to fix the last part. But it's staining how I'm seeing my trip home and spending time with loved ones. Not with every loved one; just with a couple. Probably too much information, but I don't care.

I'm so overwhelmed and stressed out with school. This was the last thing I thought would happen and it makes me sad. I don't know how I'm going to finish my schoolwork.

oh hey, little blog ...

I was just thinking about updating my blog when I realized the sad fact that I really have run out of things to say in five short days. I think, possibly, the reason for this has everything to do with the accursed TPA2.

I have mentioned TPA stands for Teacher Performance Assessment, but I haven't mentioned that there are four different "assessments."

To me, the thing is bogus, but whatever.

I'm not in the mood for technicalities, so I'll flesh this out with a later edit. Tonight, I'm just TIRED.

so i was told.

When I began this TPA project, all I could think of was, get it done and get it out of the way. I'm not a fan of repeating myself.

TPA stands for Teacher Performance Assessment. Apparently, what you have to do for this assignment is "purposeful repetition" in order to prove overmuch that you know what you'll be teaching, that you'll actively participate in getting to know your students (despite the inordinate amount of children per classroom), that you'll know how to relate to the kids in a relevant way, and that you'll present content in a way that will engage students and provide them the incentive to become "lifelong learners." I was told this is what I needed to do to get a "4" (the highest score achievable).

Okay. Yes, this is my intent in teaching. However, asking the same question five times in a row in different ways is just a little tiny bit annoying. Not only that, but it also obliterates my desire to continue to write. If I've already said it and said it well the first time, why in the world would I want to reiterate the obvious? Because it's not obvious to you? Or because, like with math, you need "proof" that what's in my head is what I will use in the classroom to appropriately accomplish my teaching goals?

THIS ... this proofing nonsense ... is exactly why I hated Geometry. I thought it pointless; I always got the right answer, despite my "proof."

On a positive note:

I no longer have two of my classes; they have been canceled for next week.
I am done with observations; just have to fill out an obnoxious amount of forms about each hour.
The assignments are considerably less, as I've done a majority of them already.
My TPA is due on Monday; 2 days from now, I will be DONE with it.
Shenanigans until then.
At least 5 major assignments to go -- I don't have them in front of me for fear I will overwhelm myself :)

On a super positive note:

13 days to go ... less than two weeks!
I get to leave Cali and its dust behind on Dec 17.
I leave the fishbowl of Master's in that dust for the wet jungle of Washington.
I get to see and spend time with my family, my boy, my friends, and my pup for a couple wonderful weeks (first since AUGUST!) and Christmastime festivities!

YAY!

i love you.

Happy birthday to my sweet man!

16.

Happy very first day of December!
Wonderfully fine day to remember.

The friendships I've made here are
Some of the best, for whom I do care.

I miss home a bunch, I must confess;
Family and friends -- I am blessed!