Expectations.

There are several things you can expect in this life- but the biggest by far and most constant, is disappointment. I don't need experience for this one. Observation alone speaks to it. Praising God for the hope He gives that can never disappoint. In this life or next. Amen.

forgiving.

Have you ever been hurt by someone who truly believes in their heart that they are doing well? This has occurred recently and... I wasn't quite sure how to take it at first. I mean, I'm definitely not a fan. Not good insofar as communicating my hurts go either, at times. And not quite into the whole counterattack method. Seems juvenile and judgmental, in a punitive sense. I'm not a person who strikes back. In the past, yes. But I've recognized that it's not effective for building relationships... I actually usually prefer to simper and go on the defensive, hide my hurt away and never address it.

Smile and internalize?

Problem with this method: the hurt is still there and it festers beneath the surface. I'm not really a fan of this either. Lesser of the two evils is the hurt. The hiding it away part stings worse over time and gets me down.

Not sure if there is another way than to forgive and let go.

Thus, this post. I'm letting God deal with this one. And I'm letting go the ropes.

armor.

Don't let my tough, no-nonsense demeanor fool you.
Should you ever be okay with "I'm doing well"?
Don't let me get away without tears.
Try to get at what's within.
But please be gentle.
I bruise easily.

four hours.

Before the plane that holds my sweet best friend and my dear boyfriend lands! To God be glory :) I know He's continuing to do great things in the hearts and lives of those left behind in South Africa as the team continues to fly west and home.

This week has been crazy busy and full of visiting with friends (love you, Hope!), family, work, and a bit of stress to complicate matters with the latter. But nothing that couldn't be handled through prayer, reliance on God's mercy, and much rest / coffee. I think I ingested enough caffeine to last me all month. And now, with four hours to go, I feel like a kid on Christmas Eve. Is this silly? I hope not. Excited!

henry wadsworth longfellow.

The nearer the dawn
the darker the night.