what makes me genuinely angry.

a smallish introduction.

In the past, I would let things get to me, eat me up, boil away under the surface and not take care of them until, at the last second --

<<<>>>

Massive explosion of hate, grudges, and bitter tears, followed by weeks (if not months or years) of patching things up and making things "right."

Not pleasant, let me tell you.

I have found, through careful observation of how others much wiser than me deal with stressful situations, it's much better to deal with these things head-on.


dealing with things.

My favorite way of "dealing with things" is as follows. It is a three-step process and must be adhered to strictly in order to achieve desired results.

Step 1: Immediately after encountering said "things," seek after God and His wisdom, for from Him alone come knowledge and understanding.

Step 2: Approach said "things" with His love, pouring coals on their heads, etc., with the mindset that in everything I do, I must seek to honor the Lord.

Step 3: Write it out. All of it.


step 3.

Since all the above are mandatory, I will commence in writing about one thing that truly, genuinely makes me angry.

A good, sweet friend of mine is presently going through a tough time. She has been seeing this guy for a while. Someone she (unfortunately) met at a bar, a little while after breaking up with her boyfriend/fiance of ten years. This dude seemed nice at first, as if he had things put together, and the two shared a few months of dating bliss together.

And then, things got sour.

He lied. He cheated on his wife with her. My friend found out and was hurt, but made allowances for his actions. They continued their sick affair. He broke his marriage off. She stuck around, not realizing by doing this, she fell in his eyes. Now he uses her ... for money and transportation ... all the while, telling her "I love you" to keep her interested.


where the anger comes to play.

What kills me is, my friend will bend over backward for this man who cares nothing for her. She does not see that he is using her. Or if she does, she does not mind because they "share such good friend-chemistry."

You all know what I'm talking about, right? Friend-chemistry is when there's tension between the two of you caused by some type of attraction. This can be awkward for some "couples" in which one of the people involved does not or cannot reciprocate.

Speaking from personal experience, awkward friend-chemistry is just that. Awkward. And, without fail, painful.

1) It makes me angry to see this man using my friend. That he has the gall to disrespect her and dishonor her, yet tell her it's all in love. This is not love. See 1 Corinthians 13.

2) It makes me angry to see my friend constantly throwing her passions, her energies, her life, at his feet only to have them trampled by his selfishness. He is a pig. See Matthew 7:6.

3) It annoys me that she talks with me about these things and I am only able to give sound advice and pray for her eyes to be opened to the Truth. Which is exactly what I should be doing. It's up to GOD to point her in the right direction.


confession time.

I have some experience here. Let me assure you, it is NOTHING I am proud of. I made a horrible choice three years ago to embark in a relationship that was neither God-honoring nor conducive in reaching my aspirations. I held on for dear life as my life quickly spiraled out of control and took me in an emotionally-exhausting, physically-taxing, spiritually-draining journey away from God. Constant migraines assaulted me. People I cared deeply for eventually stopped confronting me about inconsistencies they saw evident in my life, because I would argue and fight back. I found it easy to play the fool and not listen. Even with the evidence clearly before my eyes, I silently wondered why my family pulled away from me.

In my case, however, the Lord was *more than* gracious to me. He pulled the stops from my ears and, as I listened to my family and friends, I realized my terrible mistakes and their impact on those around me. Proverbs 5:1.


for my friend.

Girl, I don't know if you'll ever find this. I don't know if you will ever get the chance to read what I have written. I only know, if you continue down the path you are taking, your world will continue to turn upside down. That's a fact.

"Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it." Matthew 7:13

See, the world offers all these great things -- just like this guy does -- but in the end, there's nothing gained. Little by little, you let the dreams you once held dear slip away. Desperation sets in. This gate is too easy to slide through. The "narrow gate" is different. Tough to get through. It comes with heartache, yes, but also a life full of realized dreams. A life not tainted by "if I'd only"s. This is a life without regret.

The world is full of girls like you, girls like me ... hungry for love ... girls who do not know or recognize their value and so, fall for truly broken men. The man you think you love has nothing for you. He will continue to suck the life out of you until nothing remains but a shadow of the girl you once were.

There is only one Man who can offer you the fulfillment you desire. One Man who can satisfy your deepest needs. One Man who can look into your soul, clear out all the cobwebs and skeletons, and make you whole again, if only you let him inside. It's scary. It hurts. But the rewards are endless.

That Man is Christ. He will not let you stumble nor fall, he will uphold you, he will direct your steps. He knows you are beautiful because he made you. He loves you to death -- to his death on the cross for your sins and mine -- to redeem you, to give you hope, to give you a future. To give you life eternally.

I know you're not strong enough to go this alone. I wasn't either. I'm here for you. More importantly, God is here for you. Seek the Lord while he may be found, call on him while he is near (Isaiah 55:6).

Whether you do or do not, I will be praying for you.