what makes me genuinely happy.

You know what it's like to have someone "get" you?

And I'm not talking about the day-to-day things.

I'm talking about deep things, things of importance. And not only that, but this person can put those things in their own words and you know that 1) they were listening, 2) they know what you mean, 3) they're on the same page as you?

Well, that's what I mean by "get."

And love, you get me.

I thank God every day for you.

eleven and eight.

Eleven weeks.

Is just enough to make me go crazy.
Has made me realize just how much I miss home.
But I realize ... I haven't hated my time here.

Eight weeks.

Actually let's make that 7 weeks, 4 days, and 8 hours.

follow the yellow-brick road.

I am modern-day Dorothy:

Swept into a whirlwind of activity,
Swear I've lost my sense of direction.
Some wonder if I will stay in Cali,
So many have forgotten I love home.

But ruby slippers I have not.

If only I could find a pair of these.
I found out the only substitute presently
Can be, for all Starbucks employees,
Can be my loverly black pleather flats.

There's no place like home.
There's no place like home.
There's no place like home.
There's no place like home.

Seattle,
believe me.

I am on
my way soon.

Mother, I cannot wait for hugs and your amazing cooking.
Dad, we have a coffee date (or three, if not four) awaiting!

My sweet friends, laughter and late nights are on their way!
My dearest boyfriend, only fifty-three more days to go (yay)!

news from socal.

People problems.

You know, problems with the boss ... well, perhaps not the boss but rather, her perspective of me, per what she's heard through talking with others.

My question: who in the world is she talking to?

Everyone I know likes me. With the exception of two people. Who didn't like me from the beginning for whatever reasons. Maybe because I challenge them. The others? Either they love me .... well, they may not love me, but they at least like me enough to tolerate me.

Whatever the case, if my assessments are correct, I know exactly who is rocking my boat.

We'll see tomorrow if her accusations hold water or if they are mere assumptions.

I'm going with mere assumptions.

it is well with my soul.

when peace like a river, attendeth my way,
when sorrows like sea billows roll;
whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
it is well, it is well, with my soul.

it is well, with my soul,
it is well, with my soul,
it is well, it is well, with my soul.

though Satan should buffet, though trials shall come,
let this blessed assurance control,
that Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
and hath shed His own blood for my soul.

my sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
my sin, not in part but the whole,
is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
praise the Lord, praise the Lord, oh my soul!

for me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
if Jordan above me shall roll,
no pang shall be mine, for in death as in life,
Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.

but Lord, 'tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
the sky, not the grave, is our goal;
oh, the trump of the angel! oh, voice of the Lord!
blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul.

and Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
the clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
the trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
even so, it is well with my soul!

(Horatio Spafford)

what makes me genuinely angry.

a smallish introduction.

In the past, I would let things get to me, eat me up, boil away under the surface and not take care of them until, at the last second --

<<<>>>

Massive explosion of hate, grudges, and bitter tears, followed by weeks (if not months or years) of patching things up and making things "right."

Not pleasant, let me tell you.

I have found, through careful observation of how others much wiser than me deal with stressful situations, it's much better to deal with these things head-on.


dealing with things.

My favorite way of "dealing with things" is as follows. It is a three-step process and must be adhered to strictly in order to achieve desired results.

Step 1: Immediately after encountering said "things," seek after God and His wisdom, for from Him alone come knowledge and understanding.

Step 2: Approach said "things" with His love, pouring coals on their heads, etc., with the mindset that in everything I do, I must seek to honor the Lord.

Step 3: Write it out. All of it.


step 3.

Since all the above are mandatory, I will commence in writing about one thing that truly, genuinely makes me angry.

A good, sweet friend of mine is presently going through a tough time. She has been seeing this guy for a while. Someone she (unfortunately) met at a bar, a little while after breaking up with her boyfriend/fiance of ten years. This dude seemed nice at first, as if he had things put together, and the two shared a few months of dating bliss together.

And then, things got sour.

He lied. He cheated on his wife with her. My friend found out and was hurt, but made allowances for his actions. They continued their sick affair. He broke his marriage off. She stuck around, not realizing by doing this, she fell in his eyes. Now he uses her ... for money and transportation ... all the while, telling her "I love you" to keep her interested.


where the anger comes to play.

What kills me is, my friend will bend over backward for this man who cares nothing for her. She does not see that he is using her. Or if she does, she does not mind because they "share such good friend-chemistry."

You all know what I'm talking about, right? Friend-chemistry is when there's tension between the two of you caused by some type of attraction. This can be awkward for some "couples" in which one of the people involved does not or cannot reciprocate.

Speaking from personal experience, awkward friend-chemistry is just that. Awkward. And, without fail, painful.

1) It makes me angry to see this man using my friend. That he has the gall to disrespect her and dishonor her, yet tell her it's all in love. This is not love. See 1 Corinthians 13.

2) It makes me angry to see my friend constantly throwing her passions, her energies, her life, at his feet only to have them trampled by his selfishness. He is a pig. See Matthew 7:6.

3) It annoys me that she talks with me about these things and I am only able to give sound advice and pray for her eyes to be opened to the Truth. Which is exactly what I should be doing. It's up to GOD to point her in the right direction.


confession time.

I have some experience here. Let me assure you, it is NOTHING I am proud of. I made a horrible choice three years ago to embark in a relationship that was neither God-honoring nor conducive in reaching my aspirations. I held on for dear life as my life quickly spiraled out of control and took me in an emotionally-exhausting, physically-taxing, spiritually-draining journey away from God. Constant migraines assaulted me. People I cared deeply for eventually stopped confronting me about inconsistencies they saw evident in my life, because I would argue and fight back. I found it easy to play the fool and not listen. Even with the evidence clearly before my eyes, I silently wondered why my family pulled away from me.

In my case, however, the Lord was *more than* gracious to me. He pulled the stops from my ears and, as I listened to my family and friends, I realized my terrible mistakes and their impact on those around me. Proverbs 5:1.


for my friend.

Girl, I don't know if you'll ever find this. I don't know if you will ever get the chance to read what I have written. I only know, if you continue down the path you are taking, your world will continue to turn upside down. That's a fact.

"Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it." Matthew 7:13

See, the world offers all these great things -- just like this guy does -- but in the end, there's nothing gained. Little by little, you let the dreams you once held dear slip away. Desperation sets in. This gate is too easy to slide through. The "narrow gate" is different. Tough to get through. It comes with heartache, yes, but also a life full of realized dreams. A life not tainted by "if I'd only"s. This is a life without regret.

The world is full of girls like you, girls like me ... hungry for love ... girls who do not know or recognize their value and so, fall for truly broken men. The man you think you love has nothing for you. He will continue to suck the life out of you until nothing remains but a shadow of the girl you once were.

There is only one Man who can offer you the fulfillment you desire. One Man who can satisfy your deepest needs. One Man who can look into your soul, clear out all the cobwebs and skeletons, and make you whole again, if only you let him inside. It's scary. It hurts. But the rewards are endless.

That Man is Christ. He will not let you stumble nor fall, he will uphold you, he will direct your steps. He knows you are beautiful because he made you. He loves you to death -- to his death on the cross for your sins and mine -- to redeem you, to give you hope, to give you a future. To give you life eternally.

I know you're not strong enough to go this alone. I wasn't either. I'm here for you. More importantly, God is here for you. Seek the Lord while he may be found, call on him while he is near (Isaiah 55:6).

Whether you do or do not, I will be praying for you.

Can I just say ..

How wonderful it is to have support, even if from a thousand miles away?

Shout out to family, friends, boyfriend, inspirational teachers, and loving puppy dog ... all the way from lowly Santa Clarita, California. Love to you all!